Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.


Laurence J. Peter

One day your preferred underwear of choice will be granny panties and when the day comes it will be a glorious assault to your sex appeal.

Good Girl Online

Leaky Bladders & Larry David's Return

Parts Wear Out

If there is a moment of footage that encapsulates the best and worst regarding 2019 it would be the day that broke my ego and healed my faith, having to return my beloved bulldog Penny to the kennel. You don't know Penny like I do but you are welcome to immediately cast me as the bad guy. Please bear in mind the kennel comes after months of urine-related accidents, late night carpet surprises and two questionable golden showers. If you had better solutions it's too late to offer them. Feel free to reimburse the learning curve of doggie diapers, supplements and prescription refills.


What makes this footage so special? It represents the acceptance of failure.


Failure - n. deterioration or decay, especially of vigor, strength. Lack of success.


Penny's bladder was failing. Coincidentally my husband's health was spiraling at the same time. Surely Penny sensed this and encapsulated the stress in her bladder. Add in a territorial marking that could have been triggered by my mother's transition to the Silver State and you best believe her bladder failed. A twelve year old record with few if any accidents means nothing in the face of continual, consistent failure.


Any Reasonable Person could conclude Penny was simply aging but I was choosing to take the bladder issues personally, as if it were my intention to suck at managing life so horribly, this discombobulation of unexpected illness and disability that did not all exist when cohabitation plans were discussed. Failing to manage everything 2019. I curse Helen Gurley Brown daily.


The kennel was my declaration I no longer cared about having it all, I simply wanted some. With the purchase of the kennel, acceptance of good enough was realized. Truly, good enough is all that was ever required.


Cue the Larry David shoulder shrug!

There are some moments of comparison between Larry David and me if I choose to make them matter. We both share a love of writing and production at non-optimal ages except Larry's way, way way ahead of me. Plus he has a fan club. I'm proud to be a member of one, a Wordpress site, where I truly suspect he is the admin.


If you use Google, you can see how Lawrence Gene David has been a consistent underdog of a person. The struggles with his discomfort are beautiful layers of comedy gold and somehow, despite career blunders that end the best, Larry David perseveres.

So with news of the return of Curb Your Enthusiasm and the mockumentary of his life, I returned to my promise, the one I made to Penny after cackling in agreement that life is unfair - enjoy it anyway. To that end I continue to discuss all the little things we can't plan for or think about because no one thought to mention it.


Larry David is back.

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